It’s a family tradition to attend the annual Lego exhibition — well, my husband and kids go; I usually stay home because a trip to the city puts enormous pressure on my immune system.
On the day of the 2015 Lego show I was in the throes of post-diagnosis depression. I found it soul-destroying to stay home by myself and rest (on doctors’ orders) while my husband and kids did fun stuff without me. It was the closest I’ve ever come to being suicidal.
Last week, the 2018 Lego show was in town. I still felt a little sad about being stuck at home by myself… But I had some projects to go on with, and I participated from afar through a bunch of photo messages my husband sent me.
This year was the first time I was able to “be happy with those who are happy”.
This year, other people’s feelings mattered as much as my own.
This year, I gave my loved ones permission to enjoy an event when I was missing out.
Afterwards, I greeted them with a smile and a hug and I asked the kids to tell me all about the Lego show. Later, I made a point of asking my husband how he was feeling after taking the kids out solo (once again) — and I was ready to truly listen to his responses.
If you’re where I was in 2015, my heart goes out to you. Missing out is terribly painful. Soul-destroying, in fact. Please reach out to people who can guide you through the grief process.
For those of us living with chronic health conditions, our health may not improve but our ability to withstand the pressures and isolation can improve.
Three years ago, I never imagined I’d be capable of being genuinely happy for my loved ones on a day when I’d missed out on the fun. But God has helped me to get here. He can help you too. Don’t give up.
Lord, you are close to the brokenhearted and you rescue those whose spirits are crushed. Please comfort my brothers and sisters in Christ who are feeling the very real and painful sting of missing out. Please help them to find the support they need. Please give them a glimmer of hope today, as they remember your promises: you won’t ever abandon them, and you WILL give them a hope and a future. Father, transform us into people who can be happy for others even when we are missing out. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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